One week in

Stop smoking =

20 MINUTES
Blood pressure drops to normal.
Pulse rate drops to normal.
Body temperature of hands and feet increases to normal.

8 HOURS
Carbon monoxide level in blood drops to normal.
Oxygen level in blood increases to normal.

24 HOURS
Chance of heart attack decreases.

48 HOURS
Nerve endings start regrowing.
Ability to smell and taste is enhanced.

2 WEEKS TO 3 MONTHS
Circulation improves.
Walking becomes easier.
Lung function increases up to 30%.

1 TO 9 MONTHS
Coughing, sinus congestion, fatigue, and shortness of breath decrease.
Cilia regrow in lungs, increasing ability to handle mucus, clean the lungs, and reduce infection.
Body’s overall energy increases.

1 YEAR
Excess risk of coronary heart disease is half that of a smoker.

5 YEARS
Lung cancer death rate for average smoker (one pack a day) decreases by almost half.
Stroke risk is reduced to that of a nonsmoker 5-15 years after quitting.
Risk of cancer of the mouth, throat and esophagus is half that of a smoker’s.

10 YEARS
Lung cancer death rate similar to that of nonsmokers.
Precancerous cells are replaced.
Risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney and pancreas decreases.

15 YEARS
Risk of coronary heart disease is that of a nonsmoker.

Some facts about Santa Claus

No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children in the world (persons under 18). But since Santa doesn’t (appear to) handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload by 85% of the total–leaving 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s 91.8 million homes. One presumes there is at least one good child per house.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc. That means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second – a conventional reindeer can run, at tops 25-30 miles per hour.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming each child gets nothing more then a medium sized LEGO set (2 lbs), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the “flying reindeer” can pull TEN TIMES that normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine–we need 214,200 reindeer. This increased the payload–not even counting the weight of the sleigh–to 353,430 tons. Again for comparison, this is four times the weight of the HMS Queen Elizabeth.

353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second, each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa meanwhile, will be subject to centrifugal forces of 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 lb. Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by a 4,315,015 pound force. In conclusion, if Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas eve, he’s now dead.

Bye Best Buy

I went to Best Buy to pick up Tomb Raider: Legend for the 360 because it was only $30 and as I got to the check out I remember why I don’t shop there all that much. In most parts of the world if you want to buy something you just pay with money or credit and your on your way. Not at Best Buy.

I know that going to pay for anything they are going to ask me for my phone number and before I just gave them my cell number. This time I told the lady that I didn’t have a phone thinking that would be the end of it and I could buy my game and be gone. But snice they don’t have a number to type in I guess they think im new and ask me for my address. Still don’t know why you need my address to take my money but whatever. So I give the lady my address but not my apartment number. Yay, were done and I can pay for this now. Not really. She hits enter and the system won’t take it without a phone number. I tell her to just try a 555 number but still won’t work. She then asks me for my work number. I tell her that theres no reason you need my work number so after thinking about it for a little bit she puts in the number for the store. Finally were done and I can pay for this dam game.

So thats about the last time I am getting anything from Best Buy. There is no reason that anyone should need your phone number, address, fingerprints, DNA or blood type just to give them money for a product. Bye Bye Best Buy.